how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
