we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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