I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
