seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
What drink are we having for lunch?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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