We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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