I wish I only lived at night.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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