Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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