I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i may or may not be watching the land before time
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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