Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I take back everything I said about communal showers
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I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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