I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
