no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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