so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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