Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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