Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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