so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
