either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
