My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
