I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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