I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
