Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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