I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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