I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
