Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
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i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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