Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize