BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
