You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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