I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
