Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
