You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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