I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
