a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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