Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
