I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
