How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
