I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
