I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
