Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
