I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
