Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
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He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
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Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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