we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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