Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
