it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize