So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
