I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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