shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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