you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
