I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
