this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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