He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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