it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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