I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
