If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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