I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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