I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
