you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
