Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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